New Years.

i really dislike new years. it scares the crap out of me. i always feel like the world is going to end. like as we count down to midnight, we're really counting down to our impending doom. i KNOW nothing is going to happen, and that it is already tomorrow in other places, but i STILL get all nervous. What makes it worse is my family always stays home for new years and it just gives me time to think about different ways the world might end. I wish i could go to a party or like someone else's house for new years so that way at least i could be distracted. *sigh*

well here's to another year of butterflies!

haha
xoxoxo

scrunchies.

I really want a scrunchie. Like a really legit scrunchie. like those american apparel style ones! like omg you have no idea. i've been having the urge to style my hair in ways that could only be achieve with the use of a scrunchie. those little elastic hair ties just don't cut it for me. I WANT A SCRUNCHIE. i wish someone would have gotten them for me for christmas, but no. lol but it's never too late! *hint hint* haha jk.But yeah... i just really love scrunchies.

xoxox <3

gah

i can't find a job :(
like NOWHERE i've heard back from.
ugh ugh ugh

in order to go to bangkok/phuket/sydney next november i need to have at least $4000. My mother says she can get together $1,000 but the other $3000 is up to me. I've planned it all out finacially, but it requires me to get a job before january. Or else i'm not going to be able to save enough. its not a question of "if i can" i simply MUST. I'm already giving up costa rica to save up.

I NEED A JOB.

really really bad.

Happy Thanksgiving! <3

I wish everyone the happiest of thanksgivings. I hope everyone has a great day and eats lots of good food. <3

The following is a list of people i'm thankful for. These people truly make me happy to be alive, and i am totally blessed with everything. If i were to count my blessings, i'd be the first person to count to infinity. Its true. No joke. They make me feel infinite. anyways... here's the list :)

I'm thankful for:

My wonderful, messed up, crazy ass, family. For being the stability and instabilty in life. For us always sticking together through all our troubles, for making me the person i am today. and for forgiving me for all my faults, and understanding my difficulties. I am so thankful for you all. Victoria and Alex, you two are the best siblings in the world. I'm sorry i'm not a better sister to you, and i'm thankful you don't mind my phsyco-ness in the slightest. I'm so blessed to have you guys in my past, present, and future. My mother, your the best mother in the world. I just can't even describe with words how much i love you. You know. My grandparents, i'm thankful i grew up with you two. It's shaped me to be the good person i am more than anything else. The reason i try to be good and do good is all for you. Thank you family for being exactly what i need in life. I love you all <3

My rainbow of Friends ( in no particular order):

*Carmine Aiello, I'm so thankful that i went to thailand, because it solidifyed my friendship with you. We were just friends before we went and now coming back your defineately one of my closest girlfriends. I am so thankful and blessed to have you as a friend. Your someone i can tell anything, absolutely anything, and you won't judge me at all and your opinion of me won't change. Thats a beautiful thing. Your friensship came so quickly and unexpectadly at the time i needed it the most, & i'll always appreciate that.I'm so grateful for you, and i know that we're going to be friends for a long time.You truly are like a sister to me. I love you, you whore. <3 lol
*Chad Jariya, i honestly can't even begin to express what you mean to me. Thailand was so worth it, just for the fact that i met you. I'm so thankful to have you in my life now. Your like an older brother, i can tell you any of my problems and you'll never feel burdened by them. Thank you for not treating me and carmine like children, and talking to us like equals.You make me feel loved and i value your words and opinions more than most people.I'll always make the choice to stay up until like 3 in the morning even if i have to get up at 6, if your online, just to talk to you. I love you, my thai hooker <3 !
*Eric Carjan, your honestly the cutest, purest, and easiest friendship i have. I love you so much, its insane. Your like a younger brother to me and i am thankful to have your untainted youth in my life. Your laugh is one of my favorite things in the world, and i can't wait to be your friend/sister as you grow up.If i'm ever hard on you, or too motherly, or overbearing, only know its because i love you. I need you in my life, as much as you need me. You should know your stuck with me forever, so get used to it! LOL, but seriously, your just awesome. I love you baby boy! <3

[ for the above people, i truly can't wait till we're reunited next year. You three are truly like a second family, along w/ Kanjana and Mrs. Carjan, who i am also immensely thankful for. Love you people! )

*Sean Mack , where to begin, where to begin. I hope you know how much i care for you boy. Your one of the few people who actually sort of listen to me when i talk, despite how annoying and squeaky i get. You always call out my bullshit, and i can trust you to be honest with me. You give the best hugs and can always make me smile when i really don't feel like it. Your presence gives me strength because your one of the strongest people i know, besides victoria. Thanks for being there for me. I'm so thankful to have you in my life, eventhough our time together is limited. I love you Link ! <3
*Melissa Duenas, to this day, i can honestly say that i've never met anyone who's inner beauty or outer beauty even comes close to comparing to you. You just give of the most wonderful vibe in the world, and whenever i hangout with you i truly feel happy.You make me laugh and i'm glad i have so many of our funny moments to remember. Your just someone who brings out the best in me, and for that i am so thankful. Your going to be famous one day, i know you are. You've always been a star to me, and its time the world sees it to. Just know that i'm always here for you, ALWAYS.Dont forget that, superstar. Love you melisha, you'll always be the penguin to my duck.<3
*Daisy Garcia, you girl are just fantastic. I love that i can just be a total bitch to you and with you. You always know how to make me laugh and are like someone i can really easily talk to. I love how your blunt, and honest and a little bit mean. It just refreshing to have someone so real in my life. Eventhough your a skankbasket, at least you know it and embrace it! More people should be like you. You also are the hottest mofo i know. Geez girl, seriously. LOL, anyways thanks for just being daisy. Because thats what i need. Love you poodle! <3
*Kimberly Figuracion, I'm so happy to know you. its as simple as that. Your gorgeous, athletic, funny, and smart. Your just fabulous.I love that i can talk to you, and not feel awkward. It amazing we've stayed friends, eventhough we're so closebutsofar! It just helps me keep the hope alive that i will be blessed enough to have you in my life for a long time.With you my self-esteem is at an all time low.For you kimmie, i'll always have all time love. <3
*Dulce Ochoa, your seriously the fiercest lady in the world. I admire your attitude, your divaness, and your faith. I love how your just as loud and crazy as i am. But your also such a sweet and loyal friend. I'm glad even though, your all the way in texas, we've stayed close. You'll always be in my thought and one of my closest friends. I love you, you crazy ass texan! <3
*Daisy Chan & Bryan Luong, for making school bearable, and helping me handle the little dramas of everyday life. For being just as nerdy and dorky as i am, from playing pokemon pictionary to casting spells from harry potter. We truly are nerds, but the 3 of us together make it not so lame. I'd search for narnia with you guys anytime, anyday, I love you two <3.
* Darcy Cotto, you make me smile so much it makes my face heart. We're equally retarded and that makes me smile. Everytime i see a gummy i think of you. I really love the way you dress, the way you look, and just everything about you. David is a really lucky boy<3. I'm thanfkul when i decide not to go to the dance in 7th grade because if i had gone, i probably wouldnt have you in my life today.haha, I love you, my honey bunches of oats<3
*Michelle Menechyan, you sexy, sexy,sexy, girl. I freakin love you. Seriously, girl. I love the fact that i can lift you up and spin you around and i love that you love when i do it. I love how you take my advice, and value my opinion. I love all our innuendo and sexual remarks. It makes me giggle. Your.Just.So.Spectacular. i dont even know words to tell you that i love you. I'm so thankful to have your gorgus spirit in my life. I love you, sexythang! <3

I'm also thankful for : Benjamin Luong, Joseph Lee, Annie Gov, Connie Ruan, and the rest of my school friends. And the swim team.

I'm thankful for everything really. I'm so so so so blessed. <3 i'm thankful for everyone and everything in my life. There's honestly too many to say. But i love you all, and hope you had a great thankgsgiving <3

In honor of the end of school...

here's a school survey ;)

Period 1

1. Who sits behind you?
no one, but i sit opposite wondy :)

2. What class is it?
AP Language- Farley

3. Have you ever fallen asleep in first period?
lol. yeah. it's just sooo boring sometimes.

4. Is your best friend in this class?
i don't really have a best friend. so no

5. Do you hate anyone in this class?
only the teacher. haha JK,no hate fo' him, he gave me an A (:

Period 2

1. What class is it?
H. US History - Ortiz

2. Are you failing this class?
pssshhhhhh, i couldnt fail if i tryed. so flipping easy.

3. Is this your favorite class?
umm no. it's ok though

4. Who sits next to you?
bryan/ victor to my right & daisy behind me

5. What do you do in this class?
talk ALOT w/ them 3 listed above.
lost of laughs & sexual innuendos ;)

Period 3

1. What class is it?
AP Chem

2. Do you sit by your friend?
yes! bryan and daisy and benjamin!

3. Who's the teacher?
Gonzales !

4. Are you allowed to eat in this class?
i'm not sure. i just chew gum

5. Do you have friends in this class.
of course

6. Is your best friend in this class?
again does not really apply.

7. Is that class hard?
i can't get an A. it's quite hard.

Period 4

1. What class is it?
AP Calculus!

2. Who teaches it?
Cristiani

3. Are any of your friends in that class?
yessir

4. Do you get in trouble in this class?
lol no. i actually pay attention

5. Does your teacher let you chew gum?
i dont think he really cares

Period 5

1.What class is it?
French

2. What do you do during period 5?
talk about drugs, sex, & pop culture.
occasionally we learn a french word or two

3. Do you chew gum in period 5?
yes, i ALWAYS do

4. Anyone you want to kiss during period 5?
secret, secret. yes there is, but i aint gonna say who it is.

5. Is period 5 your favorite class?
No, not at all
but def, some of the most awkward/interesting convos of the days

6. Who do you talk with the most in this class?
all them kids, we're all friends (:

7. Do you have a crush on someone in this class?
maybe......sorta....hhmmm

8. Who has this class with you that has a Facebook?
alot of people.

Period 6

1. Who sits behind you?
no one

2. What class is it?
Service!

4. What's the teacher like?
she's really cool (:

5. Is your best friend in this class?
again w/ this question? really?

6. Is there anyone you hate in this class?
nope.

7. Do you like this class?
nope, i awlays leave like 5 min after i get there.

Period 7

1. What class is it?
Golf

2. What do you do ?
nothing! i dont have to attend

3. Did you learn anything?
umm, how to get free P.E. credits?

4. How many people are in this class?
ummm idk

5. Good memories?
not many

upcoming

So much is coming up!
this vacation is going to be fun.
the only problem is... i still gotta get through more than a month of school!
eeeeeeek! stupid school.
school's going ok. i think imma end up with all A's excpet in chem imma probably get a C. ohhh chem, why do you gotta be so hard?

but anyways vacation:
I'm going to THAILAND! <3
sha-yeah! i'm uber excited.

also imma get my license!
but sadly, it turns out i wont be able to get my licsence until november. noooo!
well, at least i'm getting it.

& i might, ( modt likely) going to get a job!
which mean money. me likey money

& imma start swimming hardcore. & maybe even run a little ( this is where everyone is supposed to laugh). LOL

so yeah,
dear school,
BE OVER ALREADY!

another survey. ( eeeesh)

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
i start with my left arm always.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black!

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no, i definatley would not.

4.Do you plan outfits?
sort of i guess.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
lonely; anxious; hopeful; stressed; disillusioned

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
a sticker on my laptop

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
aim

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i was at the mall with everyone i know. no one would ackknowledge me, not even the animals. i was utterly alone.

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
nooooo..? but i got re-aquainted with an old friend.

10. What are you craving right now?
sleep.

11. Do you floss?
i try to! but my teeth are too crooked

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
ummm, cabbage?

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?
yesterday

14. Are you emotional?
i define emotional.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
wtf?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
nope, only to 100

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
i lick it & suck it. ( thatswhatshesaid)

18. Do you like your hair?
we have a love/hate relationship

19. Do you like yourself?
not really

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
gwen! hahah sorta

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
ewww, no.

22. What are you listening to right now?
nothing. i'm in silence

23. How many countries have you visited?
sadly only this one :(

24. Are your parents strict?
my grandparent are, but my mother isnt

25. Would you go sky diving?
i think i would. i'd like to try.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
no, i don't like poliitcians.


27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
No i would not. despite him being a dumbass i believe everyone deserves respect. EVEN HIM.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
my pencil! (:

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
i wish. only in my dreams

30. Do you rent movies often?
yes. but i rarely watch them.

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?
the whole asian population! hahah jk.
but that what it seems like!

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
hahaha yes!

33. Do you own a gun?
no, i am soooo against guns

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
i think so?

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
myself? lol

36. Brown or white eggs?
neither, i hate eggs

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
many, many things!

38. Ever been on a train?
yes, when i was younger

39. Ever been in love?
nope

40. Do you have a cell-phone?
of course

41. Are you too forgiving?
much too forgiving

42. Do you use chap stick?
no, i lick em.

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
i don't have a best friend.

44. Can you use chop sticks?
sort of.

45. Ever have cream puffs?
yummy<#

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
nope

47. What was the last question you asked?
why?

48. What was the last CD you bought?
all time low NOTHING PERSONAL!

49. Boys or girls?
both

50. What is your bus number for school?
i am not a bus person

51. Is your hair curly?
~wavy~

52. Last time you cried?
i cant remember. like a week ago? i hold in my tears.

53. Ever walked into a wall?
so many times.

54. Do looks matter?
yes, sadly they do.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
mmmhhmm

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
who hasnt?

57. Favorite time of the year?
spring/summer

58. Favorite color?
rainbow!

59. Are you sarcastic?
sometimes.

60. Do you have any tattoos?
no, but imma get my lightning bolt!

61. The last person you held hands with?
mary rose!<3

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no, i always turn it off

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
the pool?

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
yes.

65. Do you like your life right now?
it's ok.

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
hardly ever. i text bby.

67. What is your favorite animal?
sea otters

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?
poster board

69. Do you have good vision?
no it's all blurry

70. Can you hula hoop?
yesssss, i spin that shiz right round!

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
yes, i'm a strong believer in second chances

72. Do you have a job?
nope

73. Can you handle the truth?
yes, eventhough people don't think i can.

74. What are you wearing?
marshall shorts & an old shirt

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes!

i hate.

feeling like this.
i'm scared, ohh so scared.

i need major help.

i want someone provocative and talkative

but it's so hard, when your shallow as a shower.

cereally. so anywhoo. i was tagged in this on facebook, but i dont wanna post it on facebook. but i do wanna answer the questions so immma put it here. (:

MY TYPE (of guy):


1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
thats the first thing i look for. one of the most important qualities.

2. Smart?
doesn't matter, as long as they're not uber stupid. youknowhwatimsaying?

3. Preferred age?
definately older than me. they're more experienced and mature.

4. Preferred height?
at least a head taller than me.

5. How about sense of humor?
that's a must. i love to laugh.

6. How about ears ?
must be clean! and not hairy.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
oif course. they must must. i'm not changing for anyone.

8. Pink hair?
no. not on a man. maybe just a stand, but not the whole thing.

9. Mushy or no?
they need a good balance of mushyness. not too much

10. Thin or fat?
athletic. a muscular athletic.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
it depends how they look as a whole. but probably not black, unless they have light colored eyes. i like tanned or olive skin.

12. Long hair or short hair?
also depends. some guys work the long hairr. but i prefer short on a guy.

13. Plastic or metal?
not reeally sure what this means but, metal?

14. Smells good?
yes, please smell good.

15. Smoker?
doesnt matter.

16. Drinker?
also doesnt matter. either way.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
no.

18. Muscular
yes, yes, yes, yes, please! i love muscles. i like to feel protected.

19. Plays piano?
that's be nice (: he could play for me

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
ehh, i dont care.

21. Plays violin?
that would be simpy wonderful.

22. Sings very good?
doesnt matter to me.

23. Vain?
confident.

24. With glasses?
no.

26. Shy type?
no, i dont like shy guys

27. Rebel or good boy/girl
a good balance of both,
but i'd love a bad boy!

28. Active or passive?
active. he has to be able to take my shit & give it right back.

29. Tight or bomb?
tight?

30. Singer or dancer?
dancer. have you seen their bodies? yummy

31. Stunner?
haha yeah!

32. Hiphop?
maybe..

33. Earrings?
doens't matter

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-
you-drop?
no, once your with me. your with me. i dont care about your ex's

35. Dimples?
that's cute<3 but it dont matter

36. Bookworm?
nice, but not nessecary

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
ehhh, idc

38. Playful?
yes!

39. Flirt?
yes, i like them flirts

40. Poem writer?
no

41. Serious?
he has to know when it's appropriate to be serious and when it's not.

42. Campus crush?
no

43. Painter?
that'd be kool, but not required

44. Religious?
doesnt matter.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
nope, i'm the teaser bby, not the teased.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
neither.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
that's a little unrealistic, but it would be hella kool

48. Loyal or faithful?
you must be both.

49. good kisser?
yes. they must be

50. loves children??
doesnt matter

the best things in life are free...

but you can give them to the birds & bees, I WANT MONEY!



Yes, yes i do. because thats the biggest problem in my life right now. it all comes down to money money money, & how we ain't got none, honey! cereally so many family problems lately, it's so overwhelming.eveything that can go wrong or can be thrown at us has been. i wish i could get a job, but i cant. i hate not being able to do anything because i have no money. it's justt getting worse & worse. My family always gets the short end of the stick. we're not even bad people. it's really not fair sometimes. my mother and grandfather and grandmother always give up there time and stuff to other people, they're always kind, & they truly care.Me, my brother, and sister all have learned these ideals and follow them to the best of our ability. becuase it's the right thing to do. But if it's the right way to act then why dont we ever get a break? no one ever helps us, we're on our own.

yeah, i just wanted to get that off my chest. i love my family, & we'll all alive, so i'll just thank the lord for that. i understand that good things just don't happen to some people, & i've accepted my family is one of those families who are just destined to struggle through life. But like i said, as long as we're alive & together, it's worth it. but i cant help hopeing it'll get easier.


love you all.

yeah, i've always been a bad photographer.

DAISY AND REBECCA! <3 8th grade. i fuckin love us.
this photo seemed cute at the time. but it's kinda tooo ehh.
lol. she got me the ducky & the bracelet. she's the poodle to my duck!

what i dont understand...

is that people can go out all the time, but when it comes to hanging out with me all of a sudden you "saving you money". like wtf? just say you dont wana hang out.

i need to find myself some new people.


gahhhhhh

une belle femme,

ou un beau homme,

Je m’en fou. j'ai besoin de quelqu'un.

swimming, memories, contentness, friends, etc.

Had a refreshing day today. I'm so glad i decided to go. eventhough i was alone the whole day. i gave myself an hour and a half workout. which in itself was fantastic. i forgot how much i love cold water. After that i got my book out and just layed on the pool deck reading/napping/tanning. it was fabulous. no one talked to me the entire time, no one payed me any notice. i was alone. & i was ok.

This time alone was a very good time for some self-reflection. usually i hate being alone but today was so different. it was undescribable . but i came out from the pool so realxed & at peace with the world. i feel changed & exactly the same at the same time. I dont even know. words fail me.

Through this I realized that all my most memorable moments with my friends or in life in general have been when we weren't really doing anything. it wasnt the times i went to parties, or went out, or got wasted, it wasnt the times when i had the most fun or was the happiest. it was the moments When i was just having a quiet moment or a small conversation with someone, just time where things seemed quiet & simple and i was completely content.

Then i realized that the people i've had these moments with are the ones i'm the closest to. which of course make the moments more special. like with my Friend dulce one of my favorite memories is when we were eating grilled cheese sandwhiches & watching spongebob. with melissa the best was( and still is) everytime i'd go to her house and we just relaxed watching tv. my best moment with Daisy was when we used to lay on the turf at irving and watch the clouds go by. my new fave with kim is when is going to the park/her house with her & just talking about anything & everything. My favorite times with darcy was counting pennies & nickels to have enough to buy 35 cent sodas from el ranchito & her hugs. with sean my favorite times are the times when we just got to cuddle after practice and our long all over the place convos. see? simple,stupid, irrelevant moments that only i remember or treasure. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. they're simply amazing.

but yeah, moment like those make life worth it. along with all the ourtageously fun & happy moments. i need to be alone more often ( but not too often!) it lets me appreaciate things more.

nothing

i want to change. i need to change. but i dont know how to change. i don't like who i am or were i am. i hate myself and so many people hate me too. i hate bothering the world with my problems. i can understand why peple consider suicide. i'm so alone it just hurts insanely. i coop up all these feeling inside becuase i dont want anyone to have to worry or care. suicide isnt an option becuase i'm tooo afriad of death. i just hate being alone in every meaning of the word.

sorry everyone.

one word. (survey)

Y O U … C A N … O N L Y … T Y P E … O N E … W O R D !

1. Yourself:
puzzling

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend :
single

3. Your hair:
gorgus

4. Your Mother:
young

5. Your Father:
absent

6. Your Favorite Item:
stuffed

7. Your dream last night:
nightmare

8. Your Dream Home:
seaside

9. The Room You Are In:
bedroom

10. Favorite color:
rainbow

11. Your fear:
unloved

12. Where do you want to be in ten years?
somewhere

13. Who you hung out with last night:
family

14. What You’re Not:
pretty

15. Your Best Friend:
SE-ME-KI-DA-DU

16. One of Your Wish List Items:
camera

17. Your Gender:
female

18. The Last Thing You Did:
talk

19. What You Are Wearing:
shorts

20. Your Favorite Weather:
cloudy

22. The Last Thing You Ate:
subway

23. Your Life:
rollercoaster

24. Your Mood:
empty

25. What are you
human

school,dentist,swimming,harrypotter,&dancing

Weesh, havent blogged in a while, so let's catch up shall we? warning: this is going to be long as fuck!

So school has been taking over my life, which is my fault for taking 3 ap classes, but then again i could be taking 4. Yeah, there's already lots of homework & studying & stress, & its soo not good for my head. But i'm a major nerd so i'm gonna perservere & push through it and succeed. at least i hope so. also clubs have been going well. i'm VP for habitat for humanity & we're actually gonna get it together this year, key club is ok, & i didnt get to go to GSA but it's probably going to be my fave. Well yeah thats it for school.

YMCA swim has been pretty kool. it's uber tiring though. they give us really good workouts, like less than matt workouts but more than cervantes workouts. but everyone's really fun & the little kidds are adorable, i still dont feel like i belong there, but thankfully i have my asians to keep me going. i looove them<3

So i went to a new dentist @ USC dental and their really nice. they're going to slowly help me get over my phobia which i'm excited for. because i'm tired of being a scared little child. its time for me to grow up.

I SAW HARRY POTTER THIS WEEK ALSO! & i liked it, didnt love it but i liked it. i'm assuming its like the 5th one where i have to watch it like 3 times before it actually works for me the way i want it to. but it was really prettyful ( like the sceneary & stuff)and i really liked the way they altered the book into a movie. i did not like however, the whole rushed feeling of the movie, how they tried to make it too funny, & how ginny/harry's relationship came out of nowhere.Hopefully the 7th ones are better, THEY BETTER BE. Luna & Slughorn were my favorite characters for sure. see the movie & you'll see why. so yeah, i like but not LOVE.OHH & i LOVE DRACO MALFOY! he's the only reason i'm going to watch HBP again. becuase tom felton was sooo good. cereally.

ohhkay, last night i went to my sister's friend's quince. i didnt want to go, but now i'm real glad that i did. it was a slow start, & majorly boring at first. but then it got going with their little "secret dance" that was cute but horribly choreographed. Diana looked really pretty, i loved the dress. The we started dancing. MMHMM, i danced. lol. idk what was wrong with the band though, the same song for like an hour, really? i mean come on. But it got better. I danced alot, ( my feet were majorly hurting) yeah. but i do admit, my sister is a great dancer. MUCH better than i am. i'm proud to admit i was the worst dancer there. but at least i tried! but yeah, it was lots of fun!

well thats all everyone. I LOVE YOU!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

survey.

i wish i woulda paid for swim monday instead of wednesday, so i could be at the swim meet right now! awwwww, weelll. :(


Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
everyone has a piece of my heart, so everywhere i guess?

Do you have a brother?
yessir! alejandro! <3

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i would hope not.

Next time you'll go out of town?
later today.

Anything you are looking forward to?
disneyland! and HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!

Last time you talked to an ex?
HMMM, last week i think

When is the next time you'll see the first person on your top?
like friday probably

Where were you last night?
practice, shopping, then home (:

Who was the last person that you laid in bed with?
my doggie roxy (:

Are you in a good mood right now?
i'm ok

Who is the last person that called you?
my phones in the other room, & i dont wanna go check.
i think my bro called me.

What made you sad today?
nothing so far, but the days still young

Has a boy ever called you babe/baby?
yes

Have you ever kissed on a boat?
nope

Are you afraid of falling in love?
no, it's nothing to be afraid of

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
not any guys

What is something you wish you had more of?
money! and courage.

Are you shorter than your mom?
yesh, imma shorty

Do you believe that you can change for someone?
yes,

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a "S"?
yesh

Would you get married if you could right now?
umm, show me the guy first. but most likely not

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
nope

What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"why arent you going?" from laura

Does anyone completely understand you?
hmm, i think Link & melissa & daisy & dulce & kim get me pretty well.
like probably more than i'm aware of.
but i dont think anyone gets me 100%

Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
lol yes, all the time.

In the past week have you cried?
no! quite amazing actually.
probably the longest i've ever went without crying

Is there someone you will never forget?
many people<3

Who are all the people you have texts from?
dulce, daisy, melissa, twitter.
i text them the most

Looking forward to the next couple months?
yesh!

Do you have any plans for Christmas?
hmmm, just a family christmas. plain ol' december
( but ask me about november!<3) lol

Are you shy?
until you get to know me. then i'm one crazy bitch

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
maybe... idk

If someone were to spell your name wrong, how would they spell it?
rebbeca or rebekah or rebeca or rabecca or rabekkas.. etc.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
reading harry potter (:

Do you crack your knuckles?
yes i do, such a bad habit

If you caught your boyfriend cheating what would you do?
dump his ass and move on.

Are you a forgiving person?
uber forgiving

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
pasadena? burbank? might go to the beach!

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
the beach, or with any of my 5awesomebffs( hahah, just made that up! lol)

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
roxanne esmeralda roo pena. my doggie (:

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
nope, i need to get dressed.

hate is a strong word....

but i really really really don't like you.

seriously. (:

so update.

i'm sticking with golf. lol
cereally imma be like the next tiger woods.

jealous?

hahah.
geez imma have no sociallife for my first semester.
it's gonna be school, golf, homework, swim, & more homework.

::sigh::

but i'm pumped!

ohhh & i miss my smack!
& like wtf? i only have mt other boi for 1 class.

asdfghjkl! i miss swim<3

that juicebox is a junior?

yes, yes i am!
hahaha, today wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.
eventhough i didnt get any teacher i wanted. ohh well cant have it all.

period 1: AP English (lol idk the "official" name)
Period 2: H. US history
Period 3: AP Chemistry
Period 4: AP Calculus
Period 5: French 3
Period 6: Golf soon to be ceramics. (:

psssh, i smell a hard year with little sleep coming up.
hahaha. only 3 ap though, not 4 like i wanted. but ohh well.

because i'm bored.

BUT I SHOULD BE READING THE SCARLET LETTER! ASDFGHJKL!


How many people have feelings for you?
many wonderful people, but not in "that" way

Have you ever been cheated on?
nope, you can't play a player. (JK!)

Are you hard to please?
easy to please, impossible to satisfy

Are your friends just like you?
only one i cant stand most people lik me

What are you craving right now?
some good conversation

Do you know anyone that smokes?
many people

How are you feeling right now?
ok.

What are you sick of?
money/family problems

Are you missing anyone/something?
i miss swim, & my swimmer for that matter.
ohh & my eagle rockers, of course

Do you love the last person you called?
yessir<3

Could you date someone taller than you?
i wouldnt date someone who wasnt taller than me.

When is the last time you kissed someone?
like a month ago, ugh how depressing

Next time you will kiss someone?
hopefully soon

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
yes, many people

Did you hold hands with anyone today?
nooo

What were you doing at 12.00 this morning?
making a bracelet/ using el computer

Do you wear glasses?
SUNglassess, haha

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
yes, sadly. but its only natural

You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
how'd you know? hahah jk

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
like 8? yeah, i looove vacation<3

Where did you sleep last night?
in my bed, duh.

Are you legal to drink?
No, i wish i were.

Do you straighten your hair?
nope its all natural bebe.
ain't it gorgus?

What's the closest black thing to you?
the computer is black!

When is your birthday?
february 22

What color shirt are you wearing?
black ( like always)

Do you have a best friend?
yessir, deep as blood

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
yesh, i'm pretty decent.

Do you have any jewelry on?
two bracelets

How many pillows do you sleep with?
2 bigs and a small one

How was last weekend?
not as good as this weekend.

What's your current problem?
i need to read the scarlet letter >:|

Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
yessir, karmas a fuckin bitch

Do you wish you had the chance to tell someone something right now?
yes

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
yes..im not gonna name names...*cough*metro*cough*

Do you want to fix things with anybody?
nope

Do you drink coffee?
yessir, love it!

Last time you saw your dad?
i havent, or at least i dont remember

Your mom?
i see her right now.

What is the latest you've stayed up in the past week?
like 2, or 3?

Have you had any form of exercise today?
walking thee doggies

What do you want to say to somebody right now?
i love you? haha

Is it easy to make you cry?
yes, extremely easy

Who was the last person you told you loved them?
my doggie, like 5 seconds ago. lol

Are you okay with the life you live?
i guess. yes

What was the last thing you bought?
my neutrogena pink grapefruit face wash :D

When's the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
last night

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now?
yes, guilt is my middlee name

Who is the last person you got a text from?
twitter

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i would hope not

Are you texting anyone?
not at the moment

Are you excited for winter?
yes! i getz my tatoo! & i can drive!

Have you kissed/hugged anyone in the last 24 hours?
no...? idr

How did you start off your day?
by waking up

Last MySpace message you received?
melisha's party invite.
i never message.

Where are your siblings?
my sister is in my brother's room & my brother is at his GF's house

What about your mom and dad?
idk where the fuck my dad is, but my momma is right next to me

What time is it right this second?
like 11 somehting

Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
all the time.

Do you always answer your phone?
psshhh, only certain people

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
i'm somewhat the same, but vastly different, yah know?

Do you miss the way things used to be?
sometimes, but i like the way things are moving to

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
nope, i couldnt work it

What will you be doing tomorrow?
going over to kimmie's house! yes!

Do you like flowers?
yes, roses & sunflowers please!

Do you drink a lot of water?
drinkin it right now, baby!

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
went to the restroom

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
waking up

What color are your eyes?
greenish..?

Do you like chocolate milk?
sometimes

What kind of pants are you wearing?
jeans!

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
probably not, but maybe, if the right guy came along

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
nope nope, yay vacation

What school did you go to in 7th grade?
Irving

How much money did you spend today?
like $10

How old will you turn in 2010?
17 C:

Do you believe in Red Bull?
not at all

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
yes, & she's a bitch.
like me. haha

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yessir, i have no desire to smoke

What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
88


Do you like driving?
yesssir! freedom!

el banquet.

thee banquet was lots of fun. Got lots of awards,ate panda express, took some crappy photos, & hungout w/ like the koolest people ever. a.k.a. the swim team. the slideshow was kinda lame, only becuase their werent enough pictures of me & sean. or me & other people. which i guess is conceited but, whatev! i feel like i deserved more than those little bit of pictures i ended up getting. but i digress. i just like the banquet overall becuase i miss swim alot alot, and hanging w/ the team was pretty faboosh. ohh and ain't this picture of sean creepy? i think so. your gonna give me nightmares ma'am! haha, but Eliza is cute, as always.



anywhoo, i ended up leaving with alot more than i came with, lol. i left with a zillion pictures, like 20 bottles of bubbles, 10 fake seashells, a sandal keychain, 2 glowsticks, three framed pictures, a redwhiteblue lei, and cake residue in my hair, that i can't seem to get out. ohh, & i need to say that i'm really going to miss the seniors! it's going to be wierd w/out them next year. like i've grown accustomed to see their faces after two years. aww i love them, & i hope they have a great life<3

well i thinks thats all. because i can't think clearly. ( i never can) sigh.

ohh and next year, i vote to give me my own slideshow. guest starring others, as long as i'm in everyother picture i'll be cool. becuase cereally. like wtf? me & sean should have been the stars of that shiz. i mean have you seen us? yeah, exactly.

ermm.... thats it i guess.
i love you all <3

father(less) day.

So today is father's day. Havent mentioned it before here but i got no papa in my life. my mother/grandparents raised me/my bro&sis.long story short w/ my father, he was abusive so my mother left his ass. he doesnt pay child support and made our financial situation hell. he's a bad man. i dont want him in my life.

so i dont really like father's day, becuase i've always wanted a father. but i know that my father was not a good person and still is not a good person, so i understand my mother's decision for not letting him in my life ( not that he wants to be in it)(I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT MY FATHER). But still, i feel like children need their father. Fortunatley i was blessed with wonderful men in my short 16 yrs of life. i have my grandfather & my brother. my two favorite people in the world. My "tata" ( chilean code for gandfather), is my father figure. eventhough he didnt act so much as a father, he was the only thing i had. so thank tata, ily!

but yeah, my mother was my only parent, so i guess this day is for her too, becuase despite all her childishness and her "unmotherly" qualities, she has been a fantastic mother. ( & father). she's the only parent i got, & i love her despite her flaws.

so i love you mother, and tata. this ones for you<3 you've both done more for me & mean more to me than any father ever could.

i love you (:

so yesterday.

i woke up at 6am! ugh double ugh. went driving, which went well. but for like 4 hours! so came home at like 10am, then did my chores. then relaxed. then went to meet up w/ them eagle rockers.

then went to pete's and had lunch w/ daisy,darcy,jessica,& jorge. the onions ringss were like freakin tire track. so after a while of good converstions and lots of laughs, i went to the park with daisy & jorge. i went up the down rolling slide the first time i tried. haha suck it daisy! i thought i was gonna be left alone but my momma let me go to daisy's house. yeah! so stayed there like for 3 hours or so. mucho fun that girl is. we made a yotube video, which i shall edit today. haha. great day. i think this week is going to be fun. but my mother says i must finish reading the scarlet letter before i go out monday. so yeah, imma go read.

bye, i love you!

thug life.

i think this is real cute! hahah she's such a thug.
i heart taylor swift! <3




_______________________________________________________________________

nothing interesting going on today. tomorrow i get to spend the day with my eagle rockers! yay, i've missed them. they get out early, so we're gonna have a water fight & then off to do whatever we want.<333 can't wait. GNO! haha

because i'm bored & i dislike myspace.

so i'm doing a myspace survey here! ( what a lame-o!)
haha, i think this is like a "friend" survey or something, but here it goes. answers are in bold!


Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
yes many people actually.

How many close friends do you have?
ummm, i would say about 6 or 7

Who is the most beautiful person you know?
Melissa Nichole <3 inside&out

Most annoying?
probably my sister.

Who in your life has hurt you the most?
my family. my friends(unintentionaly), but mostly i hurt myself

Is the someone you know you should hate, but you cant?
no, i shouldnt hate anyone, no one should

Do you like someone as more than a friend right now?
ummm, yes. i love people as best friends haha

What went wrong in your last relationship?
i got bored, like i always do.

Do you miss anybody?
i miss multiple people, more than i can say

Have you ever lost anybody close to you?
no. thankgod

Is there anyone you trust even though you should not?
no, i pretty much trust everyone

Who knows you best?
i honestly don't know. i think all my friend know a different part of myself really well, but none know all of me.

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
no. i've never been into someone like that

Relationship or Hook-Up?
it depends on the person

Ever been in love with someone?
not that kind of love

Need anyone?
my best friends.( all of them)

Few close friends or many acquaintances?
a mixture of both

Has anybody in your family ever let you down?
yes, many many times

Anybody in your friends ever let you down?
yes, also many many times

Who have you let down the most?
probably my family, more specifically my mother

Who is your best friend of the same sex?
i have quite a few: Melissa, Daisy, Dulce, & Kimmie, ohh & to a lesser degree daisy(chan) and darcy

Best friend of the opposite sex?
sean (:

Ever kissed someone you regretted after?
yes, story of my (love) life

Ever told a member of the opposite sex you loved them?
yes, & i always mean it, just not in that way

Ever had your heart broken?
no, i'm never invested enough in my relationships to have been broken hearted

Ever broken somebody elses?
unfortunatley yes.

Who do you know is the most ambitious?
melissa, but i know she's going to be famous one day<3

Who is the most frustrating?
my sister, daisy, & sometimes sean

Who is the loudest?
dulce! but i lovve her loudness

Who is the quietest?
daisy chan. quiet & sarcastic, love it<3

Who is the most genuine?
hmmm, honestly i don't know.

Who has the power to make your world fall apart?
any of my friends or family

Ever love someone that wasnt good for you?
nope, all love is good love

Wanna say something to someone?
nothing comes to mind at the moment

Wish things could have gone differently with someone?
yes, but not for reasons you might think

Hows your heart lately?
beating

50 before 30.

So this morning i made a new youtube video. it was 50 things i want to do/accomplish before i turn 30 yrs old. it's not up yet, because i dont have time to edit it today, but when it is i promise i'll post it up here. anyways here's the list: ( note: i want to travel to many places but it would of taken up all 50 things and then some to say all the places i want to go, so i just put the main ones)

50 before 30.
1. visit south america ( CHILE!)
2.

ma vie en noir.

ma vie...
currently sucks ass. but whatev, it'll get better someday. ( or maybe not)

can't wait for october, it's all i want right now. i want to drive, & be able to do whatever the fuck i want to. because i'm trapped. i want to be able to visit my girls, & go swimming when i want to.

je déteste ma vie!je déteste ma vie!je déteste ma vie!

but i know i have it easy, i'm lucky. & i'm a selfish bitch for taking it for granted, but i don't care, sometimes one just has to be like that.

i want to drop out of school, & travel this world. never talk to anyone i know again. i want to stop caring the way i do, because ultimately it holds me back. when your life goal is to make others happy, & you try your best to give happiness to others, there is no happiness in this world left in the world for yourself. story of my fucking life. i know i'm going to be stuck where i am forever. some of us are not destined to be happy. some of us get the shrt end of the stick. & thats just the way life goes.

i accept my place in life, but that doesnt make it suck any less.i know i won't accomplish half the things i would like to in life because of things/ alife i am obligated to fufill.

sorry for sounding like this but it's just how i've been feeling for as long as i can remember. & i'll probably always feel this way.

i love you all. & i hope your all happyer w/ your lives.

comme des enfants.

so yeah, i'm uber sick. not going to go out today so it should help. i better be better by tomorrow. i dont want to make a youtube video looking like crap.


anywhoo. just going to share my favorite music video of all time with you people. it's real cute ( & in french).



awwww, right? ain't it romanticle?

thank goodness for pain pills.

cereally. stupid nerve in my leg! i thought like walking on it would help so i went on like a really long walk with my dogs this afternoon. but it only made it worse. i asked the doctor if i could swim still while my leg was all effed up. and he's like " yeah, that'll probably help alot" which i wasnt exactly fighting him on.

gotta do what the doctor says ;) hahaha

ohh & if you have a youtube. look me up under "bekkizzle" (solo) or "thesmackitlikebeccum" (w/my boi!). i just started but i will have new videos on my personal every 3 and 5 days. which means a new one tomorrow! yay! and me and my boi SMack have a new video every week (usually). so yeah, look us up! & comment & subscibe & rate.

i have lots of already made vlogs & skits waiting, so when i'm busy with school i'll post the pre-made ones. (:

NIGHTY NIGHT! i feel drowsy<3

st-st-stress

so yeah, right now i'm blogging. when there is a bazillion other things i should be doing. i just don't know what to do first.I have less than a month to do everything. OHH why did i sign up to take 4 ap classes. i think i'm crazy. but yeah to give you an idea of what i have to do:

1. read the friggin scarlet letter! asdfghjkl!
2. take a notebook full of detailed notes/vocab on the above book ^
3. take the calculus test & review my weak spots from trig (hello LOGS!)
4. try and start to memorize the presidents and their terms.
5. figure out where i'm going to swim!(*my most important thing*)


yeah, might not seem like alot but it is. trust me it is.


i need to start swimming again, because i'm suffering from withdrawl.

sad realizations.

So today they were giving this movie on this young man who was gay. As me, my mother, & grandfather were watching it, the mom ( on tv) started to cry when her son told her he was gay. i then said "that's so sad, he's still the same person" and my mom replied with " yeah, but to a mom, thats the worst news you can hear" and my gradfather was like " thank goodness none of you are gay" i went on to ask what he would do if alex or victoria ( my bro & sis) were gay. My gradfather said " it would break my heart" and my mom said that she wouldn't be able to have the same kind of relationship with them. ( eventhough they both support gay marriage & have gay friends, they just say it's different when the people are actually family).

people who know me really well understand why this convo makes me soo depressed. Becuase since i am questioning i feel like if they knew they wouldnt treat me the same. I know they would never kick me out, but still. it really just makes me depressed that i can never tell them of all this, of how i feel. which definately doesnt help me in finding out who i am. :(

thats all for now, love you <3

youtube.

So i realized that i have yet to talk about youtube on this here blog. hmm. Well anywhoo, me & my bestie started our own channel a while back. it's called theSmackitlikeBeccum! woohoo! yeah well we just talk about random things, & we're really cute. (: here's one of our videos.



so yeah. subcribe, comment, etc. please<3
i also have my own channel under bekkizzle, but i have yet to post any videos there. although i have made three vlogs. but idk, i dont wanna post them yet.


ohhh & i'm sorry sean for being the way i am. like truly sorry. i know i'm whiny but i just hate when we fight. cuz i luv yah boi!

saturday.(yes, i'm aware it's monday)

So sorry i didn't blog yesterday, i was going to but i ended up getting too....distracted. So on saturday the day started out normal, but when we went to go take my sis to her friend's house my borther's girlfriend called me up crying. long story short my brother almost got arrested, but didn't. thank goodness. the only reason he didnt get arrested is because the cop had no reason for pulling him over.All i can do is thank the lord that he wasn't arrested. it would have killed me, & my grandfather, & rest of my family. So yeah thnak-goodness.

As a result of my brother almost getting arrested, i cried a hell of a lot. which triggered an asthma attack. i really was very close to getting 911 called.i scared a lot of people. sorry everyone!

well yeah, that was a very horrible experience.

lasterday.

***sorry this is like uber late. Today was like uberly stressful & hectic & terifying. But you'll hear about that tomorrow. if i thought about today right now, i'd probably have another asthma attack. ***





So yesterday, i went to go see Drag Me To Hell. ( yeah, 100% not my idea). And i'm like a really big scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies. But all my worries about being scared and having nightmares were wasted. Because the movie was pretty horrible. The effects were cheap & some of the scenarios were HIGHlarious. The actors were very good though.Alison Lohman was really great, and convincing and really cute<3.She made the movie suck less.Justin Long was great as always.So yeah, the concept is much more scary than the movie itself. I mean good people who go to hell? not a pleasant thought.

Anywhoo. the only reason i think i was able to get through the movie without being scared is that everyone around me was making jokes and laughing. it made the movie really funny. ( & the movie itself might have contributed to my laughter). Another reason i wasn't scared is because i had my bestie with me, & he made sure i was comforted & not scared. Cereally he is like the greatest frickin friend you could ever have. I LURVE YAH SEAN!

So yeah, over all the day was fun. Chris, Chris,& Miguel were funny. Chubby Bunny was so weak!(S'Mack went home with a bad of marshmallows!) Movie was suckish, but at least i got to lay down.Apple store was exhausting. ( you have no idea!) hahaha. yeah this is too long already so i'll leave it at that.

Love you all! <3

So You Think You Can Dance (dance dance dance..)

So, i am like a huge huge huge huge fan, of so you think you can dance. & it wouldn't be right for me not to blog about it.Well we've passed the audition & last night was when they chose the top 20.The top 20 has a bunch of people i didnt even notice during the auditons. but some of my favorites did end up making it.The girl and boy that were my favorite were Kupono Aweau & Asuka Kondoh.





Kupono Aweau is from hawaii.One of my top 3 favorites from the time he auditioned. He auditioned with wierd hair, but shaved it off for vegas. His specialty is Lyrical/Contemporary. He is great friends with and reminds me of Mark from last season. ( & i ADORED Mark<3). i really like him, he has his own style & i think has the potential to crack the top 4. <333


So here's a little tidbit. all the girls sucked ass compared to the guys. The winner is definatly not going to be a girl. But this girl Asuka Kondoh is really pretty & a great dancer.She's not in my top 2, but she is my top girl. She auditioned with a partner ( who unfortunatley did not make it) and specializes in latin ballroom.but she's really good at all the dance styles. Just the boys are the ones that shine. However i needed a girl to cheer for. so i chose her, cuz she sucked the least. <3


So last night was a pretty emotional day in vegas. My favorite of all time Peter from New York got eliminated.sooo sad, & my other favorite this umbrella doode, also didn't make it. it was quite sad.

****& my absolute favorite, RICK, didn't make it. he would have won it for sure. he had the most beautiful lines, the sickest body, and was the best dancer in the whole competition. unfortunatley, he was under contract for some stupid ballet academy, & the stupid bastards wouldn't let him out of his contract. He was devastated, (he cried) & i was devastasted. You could tell all he wanted to do was dance something other than ballet. he was fantastic. hopefully he'll be back next season. <333 stupid ballet people!


two other people i'm rooting for are Jason Glover:



WHO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE! <3 my number 2 (:

and also Brandon Bryant:



who got lots of tough love from the judges. but who i think is just fabulous. <3


Well there you go, that's my top picks. although actually i'm cheering for 75% of the boys!because i love Tony Bellissimo, Vitolio Jeune, &Jonathan Platero too. i just didn't want to overload with pictures. (eventhough i still did.)

but yeah, it's the boys year<3


ohhh & mia michaels is a bitch!

awww geez.

i ruin everything! :(

today is NOT my day.

those who can't feel.

"There are those who are blind, those who are deaf, those who can’t smell, those who have destroyed their taste buds well beyond tasting, but no one ever hears about the minority in those five senses.

Those who can’t feel."



woah deepness.i didnt write it,i read it in a fanfiction. all credit goes to Luna Moon @ harrypotterfanfiction.com TANKIE TANKIE! <3

which sense are you lacking in? i know which one i'm lacking,(quite a few), why don't you guess? hmmm.

twitter.

eeeeeep! Tom Felton tweeted me! OMFG!
i mean well, he tweeted as many people as he could to thank them for voting for him, but still. he put them allinto individual tweets! omg. i love him! gotta respect an actor that would take the time to do that<3 Thank you Tom, your really made my day. your officailly my favorite actor! i hope i hope i hope i can meet him one day<333

Faerie dust.

i wish i went to a boarding school, or school in another country. because i crave a reckless lifestyle. filled with parties,drugs, alcohol, & sex.

all because of stories like this:

& books like Go Ask Alice.

it's seems a better life.

or at least a funner one ;)

UP

So i saw UP yesterday, & i gotta say it was like the most adorable movie i've ever seen. Pixar always outdoes itself. Cereally the whole movie was real nice. The realtionship between the old man ( Carl) & his wife made the whole adventure to south america have meaning. And the way he took the little boy( RUSL(sp?)) as his "son" sort of made all the magic of the movie fit. The bird(Kevin) and the dog (doug) were soooo funny & cute, and the bird's babies were sooooo cute<3, i wanted one! Anywhoo as equally adorable as the movie itself was the pixar short before it. OMG pixar is my hero. The short was about storks delivering babies (both people & animals) and how clouds were the ones to make the babies.



This one cloud ( a stormy cloud) got this slightly off&wayward bird. I don't want to give it alll away, but all i can say is that i cried from laughter, & theen i wanted to cry. IT was pixar short perfection. it was one of those movies i just wanted to take everyone i love to go see. i want ALLL my friends to see it.(:


congratualtions pixar. another great one (:

i've decided.

i want to see the world before i commit to a college or a career. despite how cliche it is, i'm going to backpack through this world.

my goal is to visit these places:

1. Chile
2. Brazil ( the rainforest!)
3. Equador
4. France
5. Prague
6. Italy
7. Greece
8. Germany
9. switzerland
10. Amsterdam ;)


& much more. i don't think my family will like it. but my brother taught me that i really should just do it, if it's what i want. & it's what i want.

i want someone provacative & talkative...

but it's so hard when your shallow as a shower

omg, today made me realize how much i want a boyfriend. like cereally, all because of this really cute guy at GSA, ( if you know who i'm talking about, back off, because he's all Sean's), well anywhoo, this encounter with this cutee just made me uberly want a boyfriend

too bad i only attract fugly boys, & i'm shallow as fuck

much love

last night.

last night i had the most awkward dream. i dont think i'm going to tell anyone about it ever. i just had to let it out. ( not the ACTUAL dream) They say dreams are a reflection of your innermost desires, but i can't want what i dreamed about! it says too much. i'm so confused & i can't talk about it to anyone. I'm so confused. ugh ASDFGHJKL! i can't believe i dreamed about "this" while i was sleeping in the same room as my mother & sister. ohhhgee. i'm so so confused. all i can say about the dream is that is has something to do with my sexual orientation. like i wasn't confused enough already. i'm probably looking to into this dream but idk, it was quite awkward & confusing and inappropriate.

maybe one day i should be a therapist. so i can find out wtf is wrong with me.

smell that?

it smells like a champion. hahaha, it's me! i won city! wooohoo! snaps for rebecca. dropped 6 seconds & dominated the 50 breast. whoooo so happy. then got free carl's jr. paid for by ms. hill. so many funny moments today. here's a few highlights as best i remember

1. i won city! for my 50 breast. :D

2. taking a zillion pictures of myself & others.

3. ALL Megan's races. she's such a dominator. 

4. ooh la la, a new SmackitlikeBeccum video

5. Got to wear my parka <3

6. i saw coach run! hahaha, 

7. I saw Kate<3>

8. Araceli's chocolate, which made me & sean uber happy (: 

9." There's ALWAYS room for dessert."  & tubs of icecream with like 6 spoons.

10. Did i mention i won city? 

oooooh dang. so happy. all i can say is i love my coaches. i love the family. i love my best/juicebox, & i love love love the swim team. thats all. 

best wishes, & mucho lovve<3

Today.

Today is city finals. ohhh emmm geeee. nervousness!

prop 8 was upheld

The supreme court decided to uphold prop 8. which seriously seriously seriously sucks. i'm pretty pissed and extremely disgusted with the supreme court and all those people who support prop 8. i'll probably write another blog when i'm not as angry.

all i'll say right now is this. How can i get married, have kids, and be hapy with my life if my best friend will not be allowed to do the same things with whatever guy he wants. asdfghjk!

day of decision.

i find myself not sleepy. i want it to be tomorrow already so i can know if prop 8 gets repealed. I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope it does. It's really terrible that it got passed in the first place. i think of my best friend sean, and my "uncles" javier & anothony and all the kids in GSA and it makes me terribly sad that they have to fight for the rights that me & other hetero people were born with. i don't uderstand why people are so against gay marriage. no one has been able to give me a valid reason to oppose it. RELIGION? not everyone has the same religion, so not everyone should be subjected to the rules of any religion. and as far as religion goes, the greatest gift god has given his people is free will. and people deserve the right to express their free will by getting married to whomever they choose. it really comes down to that. FREE WILL. america is about freedom right? so everyone, including gay people, should be able to have the freedom to marry whoever they choose.

that's the way i see it. there's a billion reasons gay marriage should be allowed but i have yet to hear any valid reason why it shouldnt be allowed. so i really really hope it gets repealed.

if it doesn't then people like me and my school's GSA will keep fighting the endless battle for equality. Marriage is only the beginning, there's much more to be done.

Tomorrow is the day of decision. lets hope the right one is made.

Socialvibe for America <3

Memorial Day

it's quite sad that no one really acknowledges this holiday. Not to say i do. i am totally guilty of overlooking this holiday too. it's just an extra day off practice, an excuse to "take the day off". but truly when i start to think about it this day, memorial day, it makes me sad. so many lives have been taken, affected, or altered because of the war. it sucks, truly sucks. So i shall dedicate my post today to all those who have died becuase of the war and their grieving families. Today i will remember them, honor them, and thank them for the duty they fufilled to their country.

Here's to them <3