i want to change. i need to change. but i dont know how to change. i don't like who i am or were i am. i hate myself and so many people hate me too. i hate bothering the world with my problems. i can understand why peple consider suicide. i'm so alone it just hurts insanely. i coop up all these feeling inside becuase i dont want anyone to have to worry or care. suicide isnt an option becuase i'm tooo afriad of death. i just hate being alone in every meaning of the word.
sorry everyone.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
one word. (survey)
Y O U … C A N … O N L Y … T Y P E … O N E … W O R D !
1. Yourself:
puzzling
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend :
single
3. Your hair:
gorgus
4. Your Mother:
young
5. Your Father:
absent
6. Your Favorite Item:
stuffed
7. Your dream last night:
nightmare
8. Your Dream Home:
seaside
9. The Room You Are In:
bedroom
10. Favorite color:
rainbow
11. Your fear:
unloved
12. Where do you want to be in ten years?
somewhere
13. Who you hung out with last night:
family
14. What You’re Not:
pretty
15. Your Best Friend:
SE-ME-KI-DA-DU
16. One of Your Wish List Items:
camera
17. Your Gender:
female
18. The Last Thing You Did:
talk
19. What You Are Wearing:
shorts
20. Your Favorite Weather:
cloudy
22. The Last Thing You Ate:
subway
23. Your Life:
rollercoaster
24. Your Mood:
empty
25. What are you
human
1. Yourself:
puzzling
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend :
single
3. Your hair:
gorgus
4. Your Mother:
young
5. Your Father:
absent
6. Your Favorite Item:
stuffed
7. Your dream last night:
nightmare
8. Your Dream Home:
seaside
9. The Room You Are In:
bedroom
10. Favorite color:
rainbow
11. Your fear:
unloved
12. Where do you want to be in ten years?
somewhere
13. Who you hung out with last night:
family
14. What You’re Not:
pretty
15. Your Best Friend:
SE-ME-KI-DA-DU
16. One of Your Wish List Items:
camera
17. Your Gender:
female
18. The Last Thing You Did:
talk
19. What You Are Wearing:
shorts
20. Your Favorite Weather:
cloudy
22. The Last Thing You Ate:
subway
23. Your Life:
rollercoaster
24. Your Mood:
empty
25. What are you
human
Sunday, July 19, 2009
school,dentist,swimming,harrypotter,&dancing
Weesh, havent blogged in a while, so let's catch up shall we? warning: this is going to be long as fuck!
So school has been taking over my life, which is my fault for taking 3 ap classes, but then again i could be taking 4. Yeah, there's already lots of homework & studying & stress, & its soo not good for my head. But i'm a major nerd so i'm gonna perservere & push through it and succeed. at least i hope so. also clubs have been going well. i'm VP for habitat for humanity & we're actually gonna get it together this year, key club is ok, & i didnt get to go to GSA but it's probably going to be my fave. Well yeah thats it for school.
YMCA swim has been pretty kool. it's uber tiring though. they give us really good workouts, like less than matt workouts but more than cervantes workouts. but everyone's really fun & the little kidds are adorable, i still dont feel like i belong there, but thankfully i have my asians to keep me going. i looove them<3
So i went to a new dentist @ USC dental and their really nice. they're going to slowly help me get over my phobia which i'm excited for. because i'm tired of being a scared little child. its time for me to grow up.
I SAW HARRY POTTER THIS WEEK ALSO! & i liked it, didnt love it but i liked it. i'm assuming its like the 5th one where i have to watch it like 3 times before it actually works for me the way i want it to. but it was really prettyful ( like the sceneary & stuff)and i really liked the way they altered the book into a movie. i did not like however, the whole rushed feeling of the movie, how they tried to make it too funny, & how ginny/harry's relationship came out of nowhere.Hopefully the 7th ones are better, THEY BETTER BE. Luna & Slughorn were my favorite characters for sure. see the movie & you'll see why. so yeah, i like but not LOVE.OHH & i LOVE DRACO MALFOY! he's the only reason i'm going to watch HBP again. becuase tom felton was sooo good. cereally.
ohhkay, last night i went to my sister's friend's quince. i didnt want to go, but now i'm real glad that i did. it was a slow start, & majorly boring at first. but then it got going with their little "secret dance" that was cute but horribly choreographed. Diana looked really pretty, i loved the dress. The we started dancing. MMHMM, i danced. lol. idk what was wrong with the band though, the same song for like an hour, really? i mean come on. But it got better. I danced alot, ( my feet were majorly hurting) yeah. but i do admit, my sister is a great dancer. MUCH better than i am. i'm proud to admit i was the worst dancer there. but at least i tried! but yeah, it was lots of fun!
well thats all everyone. I LOVE YOU!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo
So school has been taking over my life, which is my fault for taking 3 ap classes, but then again i could be taking 4. Yeah, there's already lots of homework & studying & stress, & its soo not good for my head. But i'm a major nerd so i'm gonna perservere & push through it and succeed. at least i hope so. also clubs have been going well. i'm VP for habitat for humanity & we're actually gonna get it together this year, key club is ok, & i didnt get to go to GSA but it's probably going to be my fave. Well yeah thats it for school.
YMCA swim has been pretty kool. it's uber tiring though. they give us really good workouts, like less than matt workouts but more than cervantes workouts. but everyone's really fun & the little kidds are adorable, i still dont feel like i belong there, but thankfully i have my asians to keep me going. i looove them<3
So i went to a new dentist @ USC dental and their really nice. they're going to slowly help me get over my phobia which i'm excited for. because i'm tired of being a scared little child. its time for me to grow up.
I SAW HARRY POTTER THIS WEEK ALSO! & i liked it, didnt love it but i liked it. i'm assuming its like the 5th one where i have to watch it like 3 times before it actually works for me the way i want it to. but it was really prettyful ( like the sceneary & stuff)and i really liked the way they altered the book into a movie. i did not like however, the whole rushed feeling of the movie, how they tried to make it too funny, & how ginny/harry's relationship came out of nowhere.Hopefully the 7th ones are better, THEY BETTER BE. Luna & Slughorn were my favorite characters for sure. see the movie & you'll see why. so yeah, i like but not LOVE.OHH & i LOVE DRACO MALFOY! he's the only reason i'm going to watch HBP again. becuase tom felton was sooo good. cereally.
ohhkay, last night i went to my sister's friend's quince. i didnt want to go, but now i'm real glad that i did. it was a slow start, & majorly boring at first. but then it got going with their little "secret dance" that was cute but horribly choreographed. Diana looked really pretty, i loved the dress. The we started dancing. MMHMM, i danced. lol. idk what was wrong with the band though, the same song for like an hour, really? i mean come on. But it got better. I danced alot, ( my feet were majorly hurting) yeah. but i do admit, my sister is a great dancer. MUCH better than i am. i'm proud to admit i was the worst dancer there. but at least i tried! but yeah, it was lots of fun!
well thats all everyone. I LOVE YOU!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo
Saturday, July 11, 2009
survey.
i wish i woulda paid for swim monday instead of wednesday, so i could be at the swim meet right now! awwwww, weelll. :(
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
everyone has a piece of my heart, so everywhere i guess?
Do you have a brother?
yessir! alejandro! <3
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i would hope not.
Next time you'll go out of town?
later today.
Anything you are looking forward to?
disneyland! and HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!
Last time you talked to an ex?
HMMM, last week i think
When is the next time you'll see the first person on your top?
like friday probably
Where were you last night?
practice, shopping, then home (:
Who was the last person that you laid in bed with?
my doggie roxy (:
Are you in a good mood right now?
i'm ok
Who is the last person that called you?
my phones in the other room, & i dont wanna go check.
i think my bro called me.
What made you sad today?
nothing so far, but the days still young
Has a boy ever called you babe/baby?
yes
Have you ever kissed on a boat?
nope
Are you afraid of falling in love?
no, it's nothing to be afraid of
Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
not any guys
What is something you wish you had more of?
money! and courage.
Are you shorter than your mom?
yesh, imma shorty
Do you believe that you can change for someone?
yes,
Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a "S"?
yesh
Would you get married if you could right now?
umm, show me the guy first. but most likely not
Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
nope
What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"why arent you going?" from laura
Does anyone completely understand you?
hmm, i think Link & melissa & daisy & dulce & kim get me pretty well.
like probably more than i'm aware of.
but i dont think anyone gets me 100%
Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
lol yes, all the time.
In the past week have you cried?
no! quite amazing actually.
probably the longest i've ever went without crying
Is there someone you will never forget?
many people<3
Who are all the people you have texts from?
dulce, daisy, melissa, twitter.
i text them the most
Looking forward to the next couple months?
yesh!
Do you have any plans for Christmas?
hmmm, just a family christmas. plain ol' december
( but ask me about november!<3) lol
Are you shy?
until you get to know me. then i'm one crazy bitch
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
maybe... idk
If someone were to spell your name wrong, how would they spell it?
rebbeca or rebekah or rebeca or rabecca or rabekkas.. etc.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
reading harry potter (:
Do you crack your knuckles?
yes i do, such a bad habit
If you caught your boyfriend cheating what would you do?
dump his ass and move on.
Are you a forgiving person?
uber forgiving
Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
pasadena? burbank? might go to the beach!
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
the beach, or with any of my 5awesomebffs( hahah, just made that up! lol)
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
roxanne esmeralda roo pena. my doggie (:
Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
nope, i need to get dressed.
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
everyone has a piece of my heart, so everywhere i guess?
Do you have a brother?
yessir! alejandro! <3
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i would hope not.
Next time you'll go out of town?
later today.
Anything you are looking forward to?
disneyland! and HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!
Last time you talked to an ex?
HMMM, last week i think
When is the next time you'll see the first person on your top?
like friday probably
Where were you last night?
practice, shopping, then home (:
Who was the last person that you laid in bed with?
my doggie roxy (:
Are you in a good mood right now?
i'm ok
Who is the last person that called you?
my phones in the other room, & i dont wanna go check.
i think my bro called me.
What made you sad today?
nothing so far, but the days still young
Has a boy ever called you babe/baby?
yes
Have you ever kissed on a boat?
nope
Are you afraid of falling in love?
no, it's nothing to be afraid of
Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
not any guys
What is something you wish you had more of?
money! and courage.
Are you shorter than your mom?
yesh, imma shorty
Do you believe that you can change for someone?
yes,
Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a "S"?
yesh
Would you get married if you could right now?
umm, show me the guy first. but most likely not
Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
nope
What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"why arent you going?" from laura
Does anyone completely understand you?
hmm, i think Link & melissa & daisy & dulce & kim get me pretty well.
like probably more than i'm aware of.
but i dont think anyone gets me 100%
Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
lol yes, all the time.
In the past week have you cried?
no! quite amazing actually.
probably the longest i've ever went without crying
Is there someone you will never forget?
many people<3
Who are all the people you have texts from?
dulce, daisy, melissa, twitter.
i text them the most
Looking forward to the next couple months?
yesh!
Do you have any plans for Christmas?
hmmm, just a family christmas. plain ol' december
( but ask me about november!<3) lol
Are you shy?
until you get to know me. then i'm one crazy bitch
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
maybe... idk
If someone were to spell your name wrong, how would they spell it?
rebbeca or rebekah or rebeca or rabecca or rabekkas.. etc.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
reading harry potter (:
Do you crack your knuckles?
yes i do, such a bad habit
If you caught your boyfriend cheating what would you do?
dump his ass and move on.
Are you a forgiving person?
uber forgiving
Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
pasadena? burbank? might go to the beach!
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
the beach, or with any of my 5awesomebffs( hahah, just made that up! lol)
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
roxanne esmeralda roo pena. my doggie (:
Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
nope, i need to get dressed.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
so update.
i'm sticking with golf. lol
cereally imma be like the next tiger woods.
jealous?
hahah.
geez imma have no sociallife for my first semester.
it's gonna be school, golf, homework, swim, & more homework.
::sigh::
but i'm pumped!
ohhh & i miss my smack!
& like wtf? i only have mt other boi for 1 class.
asdfghjkl! i miss swim<3
cereally imma be like the next tiger woods.
jealous?
hahah.
geez imma have no sociallife for my first semester.
it's gonna be school, golf, homework, swim, & more homework.
::sigh::
but i'm pumped!
ohhh & i miss my smack!
& like wtf? i only have mt other boi for 1 class.
asdfghjkl! i miss swim<3
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
that juicebox is a junior?
yes, yes i am!
hahaha, today wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.
eventhough i didnt get any teacher i wanted. ohh well cant have it all.
period 1: AP English (lol idk the "official" name)
Period 2: H. US history
Period 3: AP Chemistry
Period 4: AP Calculus
Period 5: French 3
Period 6: Golf soon to be ceramics. (:
psssh, i smell a hard year with little sleep coming up.
hahaha. only 3 ap though, not 4 like i wanted. but ohh well.
hahaha, today wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.
eventhough i didnt get any teacher i wanted. ohh well cant have it all.
period 1: AP English (lol idk the "official" name)
Period 2: H. US history
Period 3: AP Chemistry
Period 4: AP Calculus
Period 5: French 3
Period 6: Golf soon to be ceramics. (:
psssh, i smell a hard year with little sleep coming up.
hahaha. only 3 ap though, not 4 like i wanted. but ohh well.
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