So today they were giving this movie on this young man who was gay. As me, my mother, & grandfather were watching it, the mom ( on tv) started to cry when her son told her he was gay. i then said "that's so sad, he's still the same person" and my mom replied with " yeah, but to a mom, thats the worst news you can hear" and my gradfather was like " thank goodness none of you are gay" i went on to ask what he would do if alex or victoria ( my bro & sis) were gay. My gradfather said " it would break my heart" and my mom said that she wouldn't be able to have the same kind of relationship with them. ( eventhough they both support gay marriage & have gay friends, they just say it's different when the people are actually family).
people who know me really well understand why this convo makes me soo depressed. Becuase since i am questioning i feel like if they knew they wouldnt treat me the same. I know they would never kick me out, but still. it really just makes me depressed that i can never tell them of all this, of how i feel. which definately doesnt help me in finding out who i am. :(
thats all for now, love you <3
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Thanks for following my blog! I can totally relate to this... The people in my family feel the same way: "Gay people are ok, just as long as it is not one of my kids". One day, I had one of my older sisters tell me she was so glad none of her sibling were gay, and I sat there thinking, "you idiot".
ReplyDeleteDon't take it to heart. Keeping these feelings inside is a complicated thing and I'm sure your fam would never had made the comments if they knew it was difficult for you. My new logic: You can spend your whole life trying to protect your family, but you also have to care for yourself! Take care!