because i'm bored.

BUT I SHOULD BE READING THE SCARLET LETTER! ASDFGHJKL!


How many people have feelings for you?
many wonderful people, but not in "that" way

Have you ever been cheated on?
nope, you can't play a player. (JK!)

Are you hard to please?
easy to please, impossible to satisfy

Are your friends just like you?
only one i cant stand most people lik me

What are you craving right now?
some good conversation

Do you know anyone that smokes?
many people

How are you feeling right now?
ok.

What are you sick of?
money/family problems

Are you missing anyone/something?
i miss swim, & my swimmer for that matter.
ohh & my eagle rockers, of course

Do you love the last person you called?
yessir<3

Could you date someone taller than you?
i wouldnt date someone who wasnt taller than me.

When is the last time you kissed someone?
like a month ago, ugh how depressing

Next time you will kiss someone?
hopefully soon

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
yes, many people

Did you hold hands with anyone today?
nooo

What were you doing at 12.00 this morning?
making a bracelet/ using el computer

Do you wear glasses?
SUNglassess, haha

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
yes, sadly. but its only natural

You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
how'd you know? hahah jk

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
like 8? yeah, i looove vacation<3

Where did you sleep last night?
in my bed, duh.

Are you legal to drink?
No, i wish i were.

Do you straighten your hair?
nope its all natural bebe.
ain't it gorgus?

What's the closest black thing to you?
the computer is black!

When is your birthday?
february 22

What color shirt are you wearing?
black ( like always)

Do you have a best friend?
yessir, deep as blood

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
yesh, i'm pretty decent.

Do you have any jewelry on?
two bracelets

How many pillows do you sleep with?
2 bigs and a small one

How was last weekend?
not as good as this weekend.

What's your current problem?
i need to read the scarlet letter >:|

Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
yessir, karmas a fuckin bitch

Do you wish you had the chance to tell someone something right now?
yes

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
yes..im not gonna name names...*cough*metro*cough*

Do you want to fix things with anybody?
nope

Do you drink coffee?
yessir, love it!

Last time you saw your dad?
i havent, or at least i dont remember

Your mom?
i see her right now.

What is the latest you've stayed up in the past week?
like 2, or 3?

Have you had any form of exercise today?
walking thee doggies

What do you want to say to somebody right now?
i love you? haha

Is it easy to make you cry?
yes, extremely easy

Who was the last person you told you loved them?
my doggie, like 5 seconds ago. lol

Are you okay with the life you live?
i guess. yes

What was the last thing you bought?
my neutrogena pink grapefruit face wash :D

When's the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
last night

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now?
yes, guilt is my middlee name

Who is the last person you got a text from?
twitter

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i would hope not

Are you texting anyone?
not at the moment

Are you excited for winter?
yes! i getz my tatoo! & i can drive!

Have you kissed/hugged anyone in the last 24 hours?
no...? idr

How did you start off your day?
by waking up

Last MySpace message you received?
melisha's party invite.
i never message.

Where are your siblings?
my sister is in my brother's room & my brother is at his GF's house

What about your mom and dad?
idk where the fuck my dad is, but my momma is right next to me

What time is it right this second?
like 11 somehting

Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
all the time.

Do you always answer your phone?
psshhh, only certain people

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
i'm somewhat the same, but vastly different, yah know?

Do you miss the way things used to be?
sometimes, but i like the way things are moving to

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
nope, i couldnt work it

What will you be doing tomorrow?
going over to kimmie's house! yes!

Do you like flowers?
yes, roses & sunflowers please!

Do you drink a lot of water?
drinkin it right now, baby!

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
went to the restroom

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
waking up

What color are your eyes?
greenish..?

Do you like chocolate milk?
sometimes

What kind of pants are you wearing?
jeans!

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
probably not, but maybe, if the right guy came along

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
nope nope, yay vacation

What school did you go to in 7th grade?
Irving

How much money did you spend today?
like $10

How old will you turn in 2010?
17 C:

Do you believe in Red Bull?
not at all

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
yes, & she's a bitch.
like me. haha

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yessir, i have no desire to smoke

What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
88


Do you like driving?
yesssir! freedom!

el banquet.

thee banquet was lots of fun. Got lots of awards,ate panda express, took some crappy photos, & hungout w/ like the koolest people ever. a.k.a. the swim team. the slideshow was kinda lame, only becuase their werent enough pictures of me & sean. or me & other people. which i guess is conceited but, whatev! i feel like i deserved more than those little bit of pictures i ended up getting. but i digress. i just like the banquet overall becuase i miss swim alot alot, and hanging w/ the team was pretty faboosh. ohh and ain't this picture of sean creepy? i think so. your gonna give me nightmares ma'am! haha, but Eliza is cute, as always.



anywhoo, i ended up leaving with alot more than i came with, lol. i left with a zillion pictures, like 20 bottles of bubbles, 10 fake seashells, a sandal keychain, 2 glowsticks, three framed pictures, a redwhiteblue lei, and cake residue in my hair, that i can't seem to get out. ohh, & i need to say that i'm really going to miss the seniors! it's going to be wierd w/out them next year. like i've grown accustomed to see their faces after two years. aww i love them, & i hope they have a great life<3

well i thinks thats all. because i can't think clearly. ( i never can) sigh.

ohh and next year, i vote to give me my own slideshow. guest starring others, as long as i'm in everyother picture i'll be cool. becuase cereally. like wtf? me & sean should have been the stars of that shiz. i mean have you seen us? yeah, exactly.

ermm.... thats it i guess.
i love you all <3

father(less) day.

So today is father's day. Havent mentioned it before here but i got no papa in my life. my mother/grandparents raised me/my bro&sis.long story short w/ my father, he was abusive so my mother left his ass. he doesnt pay child support and made our financial situation hell. he's a bad man. i dont want him in my life.

so i dont really like father's day, becuase i've always wanted a father. but i know that my father was not a good person and still is not a good person, so i understand my mother's decision for not letting him in my life ( not that he wants to be in it)(I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT MY FATHER). But still, i feel like children need their father. Fortunatley i was blessed with wonderful men in my short 16 yrs of life. i have my grandfather & my brother. my two favorite people in the world. My "tata" ( chilean code for gandfather), is my father figure. eventhough he didnt act so much as a father, he was the only thing i had. so thank tata, ily!

but yeah, my mother was my only parent, so i guess this day is for her too, becuase despite all her childishness and her "unmotherly" qualities, she has been a fantastic mother. ( & father). she's the only parent i got, & i love her despite her flaws.

so i love you mother, and tata. this ones for you<3 you've both done more for me & mean more to me than any father ever could.

i love you (:

so yesterday.

i woke up at 6am! ugh double ugh. went driving, which went well. but for like 4 hours! so came home at like 10am, then did my chores. then relaxed. then went to meet up w/ them eagle rockers.

then went to pete's and had lunch w/ daisy,darcy,jessica,& jorge. the onions ringss were like freakin tire track. so after a while of good converstions and lots of laughs, i went to the park with daisy & jorge. i went up the down rolling slide the first time i tried. haha suck it daisy! i thought i was gonna be left alone but my momma let me go to daisy's house. yeah! so stayed there like for 3 hours or so. mucho fun that girl is. we made a yotube video, which i shall edit today. haha. great day. i think this week is going to be fun. but my mother says i must finish reading the scarlet letter before i go out monday. so yeah, imma go read.

bye, i love you!

thug life.

i think this is real cute! hahah she's such a thug.
i heart taylor swift! <3




_______________________________________________________________________

nothing interesting going on today. tomorrow i get to spend the day with my eagle rockers! yay, i've missed them. they get out early, so we're gonna have a water fight & then off to do whatever we want.<333 can't wait. GNO! haha

because i'm bored & i dislike myspace.

so i'm doing a myspace survey here! ( what a lame-o!)
haha, i think this is like a "friend" survey or something, but here it goes. answers are in bold!


Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
yes many people actually.

How many close friends do you have?
ummm, i would say about 6 or 7

Who is the most beautiful person you know?
Melissa Nichole <3 inside&out

Most annoying?
probably my sister.

Who in your life has hurt you the most?
my family. my friends(unintentionaly), but mostly i hurt myself

Is the someone you know you should hate, but you cant?
no, i shouldnt hate anyone, no one should

Do you like someone as more than a friend right now?
ummm, yes. i love people as best friends haha

What went wrong in your last relationship?
i got bored, like i always do.

Do you miss anybody?
i miss multiple people, more than i can say

Have you ever lost anybody close to you?
no. thankgod

Is there anyone you trust even though you should not?
no, i pretty much trust everyone

Who knows you best?
i honestly don't know. i think all my friend know a different part of myself really well, but none know all of me.

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
no. i've never been into someone like that

Relationship or Hook-Up?
it depends on the person

Ever been in love with someone?
not that kind of love

Need anyone?
my best friends.( all of them)

Few close friends or many acquaintances?
a mixture of both

Has anybody in your family ever let you down?
yes, many many times

Anybody in your friends ever let you down?
yes, also many many times

Who have you let down the most?
probably my family, more specifically my mother

Who is your best friend of the same sex?
i have quite a few: Melissa, Daisy, Dulce, & Kimmie, ohh & to a lesser degree daisy(chan) and darcy

Best friend of the opposite sex?
sean (:

Ever kissed someone you regretted after?
yes, story of my (love) life

Ever told a member of the opposite sex you loved them?
yes, & i always mean it, just not in that way

Ever had your heart broken?
no, i'm never invested enough in my relationships to have been broken hearted

Ever broken somebody elses?
unfortunatley yes.

Who do you know is the most ambitious?
melissa, but i know she's going to be famous one day<3

Who is the most frustrating?
my sister, daisy, & sometimes sean

Who is the loudest?
dulce! but i lovve her loudness

Who is the quietest?
daisy chan. quiet & sarcastic, love it<3

Who is the most genuine?
hmmm, honestly i don't know.

Who has the power to make your world fall apart?
any of my friends or family

Ever love someone that wasnt good for you?
nope, all love is good love

Wanna say something to someone?
nothing comes to mind at the moment

Wish things could have gone differently with someone?
yes, but not for reasons you might think

Hows your heart lately?
beating

50 before 30.

So this morning i made a new youtube video. it was 50 things i want to do/accomplish before i turn 30 yrs old. it's not up yet, because i dont have time to edit it today, but when it is i promise i'll post it up here. anyways here's the list: ( note: i want to travel to many places but it would of taken up all 50 things and then some to say all the places i want to go, so i just put the main ones)

50 before 30.
1. visit south america ( CHILE!)
2.

ma vie en noir.

ma vie...
currently sucks ass. but whatev, it'll get better someday. ( or maybe not)

can't wait for october, it's all i want right now. i want to drive, & be able to do whatever the fuck i want to. because i'm trapped. i want to be able to visit my girls, & go swimming when i want to.

je déteste ma vie!je déteste ma vie!je déteste ma vie!

but i know i have it easy, i'm lucky. & i'm a selfish bitch for taking it for granted, but i don't care, sometimes one just has to be like that.

i want to drop out of school, & travel this world. never talk to anyone i know again. i want to stop caring the way i do, because ultimately it holds me back. when your life goal is to make others happy, & you try your best to give happiness to others, there is no happiness in this world left in the world for yourself. story of my fucking life. i know i'm going to be stuck where i am forever. some of us are not destined to be happy. some of us get the shrt end of the stick. & thats just the way life goes.

i accept my place in life, but that doesnt make it suck any less.i know i won't accomplish half the things i would like to in life because of things/ alife i am obligated to fufill.

sorry for sounding like this but it's just how i've been feeling for as long as i can remember. & i'll probably always feel this way.

i love you all. & i hope your all happyer w/ your lives.

comme des enfants.

so yeah, i'm uber sick. not going to go out today so it should help. i better be better by tomorrow. i dont want to make a youtube video looking like crap.


anywhoo. just going to share my favorite music video of all time with you people. it's real cute ( & in french).



awwww, right? ain't it romanticle?

thank goodness for pain pills.

cereally. stupid nerve in my leg! i thought like walking on it would help so i went on like a really long walk with my dogs this afternoon. but it only made it worse. i asked the doctor if i could swim still while my leg was all effed up. and he's like " yeah, that'll probably help alot" which i wasnt exactly fighting him on.

gotta do what the doctor says ;) hahaha

ohh & if you have a youtube. look me up under "bekkizzle" (solo) or "thesmackitlikebeccum" (w/my boi!). i just started but i will have new videos on my personal every 3 and 5 days. which means a new one tomorrow! yay! and me and my boi SMack have a new video every week (usually). so yeah, look us up! & comment & subscibe & rate.

i have lots of already made vlogs & skits waiting, so when i'm busy with school i'll post the pre-made ones. (:

NIGHTY NIGHT! i feel drowsy<3

st-st-stress

so yeah, right now i'm blogging. when there is a bazillion other things i should be doing. i just don't know what to do first.I have less than a month to do everything. OHH why did i sign up to take 4 ap classes. i think i'm crazy. but yeah to give you an idea of what i have to do:

1. read the friggin scarlet letter! asdfghjkl!
2. take a notebook full of detailed notes/vocab on the above book ^
3. take the calculus test & review my weak spots from trig (hello LOGS!)
4. try and start to memorize the presidents and their terms.
5. figure out where i'm going to swim!(*my most important thing*)


yeah, might not seem like alot but it is. trust me it is.


i need to start swimming again, because i'm suffering from withdrawl.

sad realizations.

So today they were giving this movie on this young man who was gay. As me, my mother, & grandfather were watching it, the mom ( on tv) started to cry when her son told her he was gay. i then said "that's so sad, he's still the same person" and my mom replied with " yeah, but to a mom, thats the worst news you can hear" and my gradfather was like " thank goodness none of you are gay" i went on to ask what he would do if alex or victoria ( my bro & sis) were gay. My gradfather said " it would break my heart" and my mom said that she wouldn't be able to have the same kind of relationship with them. ( eventhough they both support gay marriage & have gay friends, they just say it's different when the people are actually family).

people who know me really well understand why this convo makes me soo depressed. Becuase since i am questioning i feel like if they knew they wouldnt treat me the same. I know they would never kick me out, but still. it really just makes me depressed that i can never tell them of all this, of how i feel. which definately doesnt help me in finding out who i am. :(

thats all for now, love you <3

youtube.

So i realized that i have yet to talk about youtube on this here blog. hmm. Well anywhoo, me & my bestie started our own channel a while back. it's called theSmackitlikeBeccum! woohoo! yeah well we just talk about random things, & we're really cute. (: here's one of our videos.



so yeah. subcribe, comment, etc. please<3
i also have my own channel under bekkizzle, but i have yet to post any videos there. although i have made three vlogs. but idk, i dont wanna post them yet.


ohhh & i'm sorry sean for being the way i am. like truly sorry. i know i'm whiny but i just hate when we fight. cuz i luv yah boi!

saturday.(yes, i'm aware it's monday)

So sorry i didn't blog yesterday, i was going to but i ended up getting too....distracted. So on saturday the day started out normal, but when we went to go take my sis to her friend's house my borther's girlfriend called me up crying. long story short my brother almost got arrested, but didn't. thank goodness. the only reason he didnt get arrested is because the cop had no reason for pulling him over.All i can do is thank the lord that he wasn't arrested. it would have killed me, & my grandfather, & rest of my family. So yeah thnak-goodness.

As a result of my brother almost getting arrested, i cried a hell of a lot. which triggered an asthma attack. i really was very close to getting 911 called.i scared a lot of people. sorry everyone!

well yeah, that was a very horrible experience.

lasterday.

***sorry this is like uber late. Today was like uberly stressful & hectic & terifying. But you'll hear about that tomorrow. if i thought about today right now, i'd probably have another asthma attack. ***





So yesterday, i went to go see Drag Me To Hell. ( yeah, 100% not my idea). And i'm like a really big scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies. But all my worries about being scared and having nightmares were wasted. Because the movie was pretty horrible. The effects were cheap & some of the scenarios were HIGHlarious. The actors were very good though.Alison Lohman was really great, and convincing and really cute<3.She made the movie suck less.Justin Long was great as always.So yeah, the concept is much more scary than the movie itself. I mean good people who go to hell? not a pleasant thought.

Anywhoo. the only reason i think i was able to get through the movie without being scared is that everyone around me was making jokes and laughing. it made the movie really funny. ( & the movie itself might have contributed to my laughter). Another reason i wasn't scared is because i had my bestie with me, & he made sure i was comforted & not scared. Cereally he is like the greatest frickin friend you could ever have. I LURVE YAH SEAN!

So yeah, over all the day was fun. Chris, Chris,& Miguel were funny. Chubby Bunny was so weak!(S'Mack went home with a bad of marshmallows!) Movie was suckish, but at least i got to lay down.Apple store was exhausting. ( you have no idea!) hahaha. yeah this is too long already so i'll leave it at that.

Love you all! <3

So You Think You Can Dance (dance dance dance..)

So, i am like a huge huge huge huge fan, of so you think you can dance. & it wouldn't be right for me not to blog about it.Well we've passed the audition & last night was when they chose the top 20.The top 20 has a bunch of people i didnt even notice during the auditons. but some of my favorites did end up making it.The girl and boy that were my favorite were Kupono Aweau & Asuka Kondoh.





Kupono Aweau is from hawaii.One of my top 3 favorites from the time he auditioned. He auditioned with wierd hair, but shaved it off for vegas. His specialty is Lyrical/Contemporary. He is great friends with and reminds me of Mark from last season. ( & i ADORED Mark<3). i really like him, he has his own style & i think has the potential to crack the top 4. <333


So here's a little tidbit. all the girls sucked ass compared to the guys. The winner is definatly not going to be a girl. But this girl Asuka Kondoh is really pretty & a great dancer.She's not in my top 2, but she is my top girl. She auditioned with a partner ( who unfortunatley did not make it) and specializes in latin ballroom.but she's really good at all the dance styles. Just the boys are the ones that shine. However i needed a girl to cheer for. so i chose her, cuz she sucked the least. <3


So last night was a pretty emotional day in vegas. My favorite of all time Peter from New York got eliminated.sooo sad, & my other favorite this umbrella doode, also didn't make it. it was quite sad.

****& my absolute favorite, RICK, didn't make it. he would have won it for sure. he had the most beautiful lines, the sickest body, and was the best dancer in the whole competition. unfortunatley, he was under contract for some stupid ballet academy, & the stupid bastards wouldn't let him out of his contract. He was devastated, (he cried) & i was devastasted. You could tell all he wanted to do was dance something other than ballet. he was fantastic. hopefully he'll be back next season. <333 stupid ballet people!


two other people i'm rooting for are Jason Glover:



WHO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE! <3 my number 2 (:

and also Brandon Bryant:



who got lots of tough love from the judges. but who i think is just fabulous. <3


Well there you go, that's my top picks. although actually i'm cheering for 75% of the boys!because i love Tony Bellissimo, Vitolio Jeune, &Jonathan Platero too. i just didn't want to overload with pictures. (eventhough i still did.)

but yeah, it's the boys year<3


ohhh & mia michaels is a bitch!

awww geez.

i ruin everything! :(

today is NOT my day.

those who can't feel.

"There are those who are blind, those who are deaf, those who can’t smell, those who have destroyed their taste buds well beyond tasting, but no one ever hears about the minority in those five senses.

Those who can’t feel."



woah deepness.i didnt write it,i read it in a fanfiction. all credit goes to Luna Moon @ harrypotterfanfiction.com TANKIE TANKIE! <3

which sense are you lacking in? i know which one i'm lacking,(quite a few), why don't you guess? hmmm.

twitter.

eeeeeep! Tom Felton tweeted me! OMFG!
i mean well, he tweeted as many people as he could to thank them for voting for him, but still. he put them allinto individual tweets! omg. i love him! gotta respect an actor that would take the time to do that<3 Thank you Tom, your really made my day. your officailly my favorite actor! i hope i hope i hope i can meet him one day<333

Faerie dust.

i wish i went to a boarding school, or school in another country. because i crave a reckless lifestyle. filled with parties,drugs, alcohol, & sex.

all because of stories like this:

& books like Go Ask Alice.

it's seems a better life.

or at least a funner one ;)

UP

So i saw UP yesterday, & i gotta say it was like the most adorable movie i've ever seen. Pixar always outdoes itself. Cereally the whole movie was real nice. The realtionship between the old man ( Carl) & his wife made the whole adventure to south america have meaning. And the way he took the little boy( RUSL(sp?)) as his "son" sort of made all the magic of the movie fit. The bird(Kevin) and the dog (doug) were soooo funny & cute, and the bird's babies were sooooo cute<3, i wanted one! Anywhoo as equally adorable as the movie itself was the pixar short before it. OMG pixar is my hero. The short was about storks delivering babies (both people & animals) and how clouds were the ones to make the babies.



This one cloud ( a stormy cloud) got this slightly off&wayward bird. I don't want to give it alll away, but all i can say is that i cried from laughter, & theen i wanted to cry. IT was pixar short perfection. it was one of those movies i just wanted to take everyone i love to go see. i want ALLL my friends to see it.(:


congratualtions pixar. another great one (: