ma vie est une montagne de rouge.

life is a rollercoaster, that much is true.

but i'm scared of rollercoasters.

terrified actually.

anticipation, a build up and then a fall.
scream, cry, hold you're breath until you turn blue.
panic attacks that lead to astham attacks.

thats how a rollercoaster feels like to me.

i'm yelling at the attendant, telling him to lift the bar, i can't handle this, i'm not brave enough, i want off, please get me off.

but no one listens.the ride starts and i sit there a helpless wreck.



couldn't we have just ridden the carousel instead?

sleepovers. (

So today, my sister went to a sleepover. My mother never ever ever, let me go to a sleepover.(*bitter*) But she DID let me go to thailand, ( which doesnt make sense to me) so i honestly can't complain. i know she didnt let us go because she was worried. I had to convince her to let my sister go. which i did because i want my sister to be able to experience a sleepover, something i've never gotten to.which leads me to the subject of this blog: my ongoing desire for a sleepover. i've seen all the movies where a bunch of friends have a big sleepover, with games and food, and girly things. It just looks like something that is an important part of being young. i've always wanted to stay up late w/ friends, do each others make-up, play silly games and things like that. so yeah, this year i shall make it my mini goal to sleepover at someones house. it's about time.