sad realizations.

So today they were giving this movie on this young man who was gay. As me, my mother, & grandfather were watching it, the mom ( on tv) started to cry when her son told her he was gay. i then said "that's so sad, he's still the same person" and my mom replied with " yeah, but to a mom, thats the worst news you can hear" and my gradfather was like " thank goodness none of you are gay" i went on to ask what he would do if alex or victoria ( my bro & sis) were gay. My gradfather said " it would break my heart" and my mom said that she wouldn't be able to have the same kind of relationship with them. ( eventhough they both support gay marriage & have gay friends, they just say it's different when the people are actually family).

people who know me really well understand why this convo makes me soo depressed. Becuase since i am questioning i feel like if they knew they wouldnt treat me the same. I know they would never kick me out, but still. it really just makes me depressed that i can never tell them of all this, of how i feel. which definately doesnt help me in finding out who i am. :(

thats all for now, love you <3