sad realizations.

So today they were giving this movie on this young man who was gay. As me, my mother, & grandfather were watching it, the mom ( on tv) started to cry when her son told her he was gay. i then said "that's so sad, he's still the same person" and my mom replied with " yeah, but to a mom, thats the worst news you can hear" and my gradfather was like " thank goodness none of you are gay" i went on to ask what he would do if alex or victoria ( my bro & sis) were gay. My gradfather said " it would break my heart" and my mom said that she wouldn't be able to have the same kind of relationship with them. ( eventhough they both support gay marriage & have gay friends, they just say it's different when the people are actually family).

people who know me really well understand why this convo makes me soo depressed. Becuase since i am questioning i feel like if they knew they wouldnt treat me the same. I know they would never kick me out, but still. it really just makes me depressed that i can never tell them of all this, of how i feel. which definately doesnt help me in finding out who i am. :(

thats all for now, love you <3

day of decision.

i find myself not sleepy. i want it to be tomorrow already so i can know if prop 8 gets repealed. I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope it does. It's really terrible that it got passed in the first place. i think of my best friend sean, and my "uncles" javier & anothony and all the kids in GSA and it makes me terribly sad that they have to fight for the rights that me & other hetero people were born with. i don't uderstand why people are so against gay marriage. no one has been able to give me a valid reason to oppose it. RELIGION? not everyone has the same religion, so not everyone should be subjected to the rules of any religion. and as far as religion goes, the greatest gift god has given his people is free will. and people deserve the right to express their free will by getting married to whomever they choose. it really comes down to that. FREE WILL. america is about freedom right? so everyone, including gay people, should be able to have the freedom to marry whoever they choose.

that's the way i see it. there's a billion reasons gay marriage should be allowed but i have yet to hear any valid reason why it shouldnt be allowed. so i really really hope it gets repealed.

if it doesn't then people like me and my school's GSA will keep fighting the endless battle for equality. Marriage is only the beginning, there's much more to be done.

Tomorrow is the day of decision. lets hope the right one is made.